I’ve been working on letting go. It’s taken me several months (even years for some issues), multiple means of inspirations, and several pep talks from myself and others. Yet, I wasn’t quite ready. Although I was preparing and loosening my grip, I wasn’t yet ready to free my hands from the ropes that were holding me as much I was holding onto them.
I am ready now. I’ve grieved loss of loved ones, fading friendships, disappointments, and expectations. I’ve found and rediscovered my truth repeatedly. I’ve done my homework. So that in one conversation with a sweet soul telling me to just F* all that was binding me, I not only heard it, but felt it throughout my body and soul. I knew right then in those moments; I was transformed. The click of the internal switch resonated in a way I have never felt before. For the first time in a very long time, I could believe in my worth. Without judgement, I believed that the rejections were redirections. I no longer felt shame in moving toward what served me. It felt like a gift of freedom braided with love and acceptance.
Then, I was put to the test. It wasn’t easy. I struggled. I wondered if my progress was in vain. I questioned if it was a case for two steps forward, one step back. Maybe it was. Regardless, I made it through with clearer vision and an even greater acceptance of who I am, am not, and how to nourish myself. I reassessed my patterns, habits, and boundaries. With compassion and a little help from my friends, I let go and realigned. I kept my focus. All was not lost. I quickly regained my footing.
Knowing the need to let go and what to let go of are just start, and shouldn’t be underestimated. We can’t discredit the process. Maturing and learning about truth and what matters is another step. Challenges and failures serve as guideposts. All is preparation for where we are being called to go.
I’m taking my time. Haste only results in repetition. I’m mindfully saying goodbye to the chase and time wasters. I’m working on rest and healing, so as the year, I will be ready to embrace what is meant for me. Whether or not I reach actualization, I’m confidently heading in the right direction, that is to say, “my direction.” I accept the progress with, or without, the achievement.
I wish for you a new year filled with whatever you are needing right now, right here where you are. Look back only as much as is needed to move forward. Release what is no longer a benefit, including judgement. Make room for what your soul craves. Here’s to each of us in the New Year as we practice letting go to welcome what awaits, no matter how many takes it takes.
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